I’m from the East Coast. I lived in China. But I am the biggest damn baby about the cold, I swear. It hasn’t even dropped below 50 degrees here yet and I’m just a miserable human being. I’m supposed to be going to the gym but I just can’t get warm enough to justify going and lifting heavy things. Aghhhhhhh. I can handle concussions, dislocations, and even having my teeth knocked in but God forbid the temperature drop below 75 degrees. My hands and feet turn into popsicles.
So I was on Facebook the other day, and I’ve been having an influx of friend requests from people I don’t know since the Dream tournament (I didn’t think that win was going to increase my visibility so much, but apparently I was wrong…) anyway, so I just add people as friends on Facebook, even though that may be inadvisable. Normally, I wouldn’t name any of these people– I’ll show you some of the messages because they’re funny, but then I got this one message from someone calling himself “BJJ Liker.”
Right away I figured this guy was a weirdo, since his pictures look like this:
Oh man, this is going to be a weirdo trying to get into my pants or whatever from a world away. I don’t have patience for this, but Liera does, so I turned over the computer to him when the guy messaged me. Bear with me, it’s a little long but there is a point:
This is where I ended the conversation pretty much, because we found this picture on his Facebook:
This guy clearly sexualizes BJJ, triangles in particular, and those are children. I reported it to Facebook but I imagine Facebook won’t do anything because it’s not actually against their rules, even if it is massively creepy. Guh. There are some massive creeps out there. I know people are going to sexualize BJJ and it’s kind of weird, but it’s fun to laugh at because usually the people involved are, you know, adults… but when you bring children into the mix (clearly prepubescent children) things get wrong and weird and fucked up really quickly.
There isn’t really a solution to this problem or anything, I just wanted to bring some attention to this kind of thing. Hopefully the parents of these children can see this and petition Facebook for a removal of the picture or something. Parents, I hope you keep an eye out for what’s being done with your kids’ photos, if nothing else. I hate to see kids used in this way.
I’ve been resting for the past few days, and true to form I got sick immediately after the tournament. I guess I should be glad that my body holds out for me, but it’s pretty irritating to get sick after every damn tournament ever.
So I’m going to recover and get chubby But also I just wanted to remind people in the San Diego area about this event this weekend:
It’s going to be a great event, get out there if you can!
Overall, a pretty good weekend for Atos. The weekend started with the FIVE tournament, which was apparently simultaneously gi and no-gi. I don’t know, I didn’t go– I didn’t want to spend two days in LA.
Regardless, everyone from Atos did really well; Keenan beat Jackson Souza in the finals, Mike Carbullido won brown belt open, and Nisar took third in purple belt open. I hear it was a long, long day though. You can find FIVE on Facebook here if you’re interested in competing in their events– they’re Canada-based and they run a nice tournament. All you Canadians should take advantage of this.
On Sunday, I drove up to LA to compete in the DREAM tournament– my first submission-only tournament. As far as I’m aware, it’s really the first women’s no-time-limit tournament ever. Pretty cool.
You can find DREAM on Facebook here. DREAM is based in southern California, out of somewhere in LA– they run some really awesome kid’s tournaments.
So…recap of the tournament. There were sixteen women in my division, which was literally the biggest division I’ve ever been a part of, and it was submission-only with no time limit, which was nerve-wracking but definitely exciting. There were some good women in the division, too– I think somewhere between six and eight of those women were high-level brown belts from some of the best academies in Southern and Central California. Overall, a really strong division. It was great to see so many high-level women in the same place. My fight recaps are below, if you’re interested; Newaza Apparel took video of the whole event so I hope they’ll have footage available at some point.
In my first fight, I fought Vanessa Show from Electric Jiu Jitsu. The fight lasted about a minute; despite promising myself I wasn’t going to attack her legs, I kneebarred her from a failed toehold attempt. Oops. It was good to finish the first fight quickly though, because I knew my second fight was going to be tough no matter who won. I had a long break between my first and second fight because my second fight, Kristina Barlaan, ended up fighting for about an hour with her first opponent. I definitely don’t envy her that fight at all. Kristina and I fought for about sixteen and a half minutes before I finally got a chance to catch her with a toehold… I had her in deep kneebars a few times, but her legs are so insanely flexible, I’m jealous.
After my second fight, I was into the semifinals. My break wasn’t very long here, because Judy Gomes, my next opponent, was finished with her fight well before I was. I got the requisite fifteen minutes, but it didn’t feel like fifteen minutes; I was pretty much just double-fisting water and preworkouts at this point, since I didn’t think I could handle any food. All the waiting earlier had made me a little sleepy. I expected to be so much more tired, but really, the only thing that was burning out was my grips. Note to self: need to work on grip strength. I made a mistake in my third fight, because I let Judy jump closed guard. That’s a habit I really need to break. I think she was fatigued though, because I was able to break out of her guard and pass without too much energy expenditure. She turtled, so I took her back and choked her with a modified loop choke I use.
During my last break, Tara White, my blue-belt teammate from Jiu Jitsu League, was facing Gracie black belt Tammy Griego and holding her own in the +136 lbs division. Tara has some fantastic technique, and she’s only been a blue belt for about a year. I’m really excited to see how she changes and improves in the future. The day before, in the no-gi FIVE division, she beat Tammy, but Tammy got the best of her in the gi. Still, I’m proud of how Tara fought, and with some fine-tuning of her technique, she’s going to be unstoppable.
My last fight was with Jacqueline Amorim from Checkmat. This girl had the strongest pistol grips I’ve ever felt. I made some mistakes in this match as a result of being too tired– like misjudging her flexibility in the turtle and missing the back-take (this is what I get for training only with boys ) but I caught her with a kneebar during the scramble at about twelve minutes into the fight.
So… yay! $1000! Down payment on a new car!
How about a celebratory no-gi-season-is-over gif post, everybody?
Everyone’s reaction when we realized no more wrestling drills (for about a year):
Every other team on the planet after big wins at a big tournament:
No but really:
It’s more like this:
Then for about two weeks afterwards it’s like:
The first week or so of wearing a gi again:
Walking into the gym with a new gi:
Trying to spar in the angry pajamas after so long in no-gi:
After one round of gi sparring when you’re not used to the friction and grip-breaking:
Letting a bunch of barely-adult-men handle a bunch of children under the age of six in the kids’ class:
When Keenan briefly got a bunny and carried it everywhere in a cardboard box:
What I see when I see guys at tournaments with one million sponsors and I have no clue who they are because they’ve never won anything of note:
The view from getting double-underhooks passed:
Passing a big guy’s guard and falling victim to the super-heavyweight barrel roll:
Whenever pretty much anyone but an Atos guy tries to berimbolo me:
Their reaction when I start to attack their feet from said berimbolo:
But then when Atos guys berimbolo me:
Watching the white belts spar and one of them reaps the hell out of another one’s knee:
The victory dance I wish Buchecha would implement in some kind of regular fashion:
An accurate representation of Liera’s flying triangles:
How I feel not-so-secretly inside whenever Liera beats one of the Brazilians that seem to have formed an alliance against him:
How guard players look at top players during stretching:
Why no one at the Academy every lets anyone else access their Facebook anymore:
When I hear some of the guys using words like “momentum” and “cognizant:”
When the guys start to fart (because it’s the height of humor, guys):
How everyone feels about PDA on the mats:
When someone on the wall gives me bad advice that ends with my guard getting passed:
Men’s attitudes towards opponents before a tournament:
Men’s attitudes towards opponents after a tournament:
Women’s attitudes towards opponents before a tournament:
Women’s attitudes towards opponents after a tournament: